Through Lala's Lashes
It is amazing what you see when your eyes are open
7:57-8:40 pm Seven.
Posted by on 7 November 2011
It is interesting how we choose to portray ourselves to our significant others. I’m not just talking about spouses. I consider my girlfriends significant. My parents and sisters are certainly significant. They are not me, therefore they are others. Each relationship we participate in has varied degrees of intimacy – emotional, physical, and spiritual. No two relationships the same.
I could share an identical story with my husband as with my close girlfriend and engage in completely separate and distinct conversations. Their reactions to the narrative are based on their unique life experience as well as their understanding of me within the relationship. I find this fascinating. No two relationships are based on the same interpretation of me. I am essentially a different person to every one of my significant others. There are elements of my portrayal of self that I choose to share with my husband which I do not share with others. As there are intimate conversations that occur between sisters or longtime girlfriends that my husband will never know. This is not secret keeping but more of a subconscious distribution of my personality.
I feel like this is done as a means of protection or security. I know that at least one person in my life will have understood me in a way that will protect me physically, emotionally, spiritually if ever an infinite amount of “shit hitting the fan” instances occurs.
The kicker here is one’s knowledge of self. If I were not totally honest and candid in my interactions with my significant others I would be portraying myself falsely within the relationships. I would be essentially creating a character which would inevitably cross into some element of fiction. If not bounded by acknowledgment of the imagination the false representation could manifest itself in reality potentially creating a ripple effect of false portrayals of my principles.
Being honest all the time is difficult especially when there are traits which we would rather hide from everyone – even ourselves. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised lately when practicing openness to find that many of my significant others respond in kind with anecdotes of similar experience. And whether based in truth or fiction I have no choice but to accept their exchange as genuine.
in the now, we can only relate to what is “real” (personal interpretation) in that moment. we know others and ourselves through our own filters (as you said, life experiences and circumstances that inform us). no one knows themselves so thoroughly at each moment of awareness because we are dynamic as we take in and process information constantly. the “i am” is not a solid. i even question the person i think i am when i write this. but i can look back at these words and get a glimpse of my self.
I am my mother’s daughter…obviously. Love you!